Hey,

12:25 AM - I have this constant dull ache in my stomach, constant whispers in my head, weight pushing on my heart. Social anxiety for me is always there. Waiting.

Social anxiety is not about being shy. I'm not a shy person, I'm really not. As a child I was outgoing, my dad always tells stories of me as a rambling toddler hugging these big tattooed men at his work. Kid Georgia did it all. Until Intermediate.

My social anxiety began when I was bullied. I began to be terrified of the local mall, I was constantly worried about what others thought of me that I avoided interacting with as many people of my own age, apart from school.

5 years on since I was bullied to that point, my heart still races when I"m on the way to hang out with someone. No matter who they are. I love swimming but my social anxiety presses on my insecurities on baring so much skin, I avoid it.

My social anxiety mixed with panic disorder in my second year of high school. I couldn't get out of bed for school. Depression was nipping at my heels. And now, I'm returning to that high school I left, this year.

I'm terrified. I'm so scared of other people, especially my peers. I try so hard to be brave, but it's hard when your brain isn't wired the same as your friends. Friends always ask me, if you can do this why can't you do this, and I just can't explain it. I can jump off a cliff while White Water rafting but I get more scared going to hang out with a group of people.

If you're feeling the same, please hang in there. For me, I have great awesome sunny days where social anxiety is nowhere to be found, and darker dull days where I'm not so swell. It's a balance, and I'm living with it.

- georgia maree